is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
