he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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