so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
