last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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