honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
