I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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