Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
