I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
