Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize