'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
