My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I currently don't understand fingers.
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