Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
