please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
