well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
handjob tips. give me some.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize