Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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