I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
