What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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