Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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