I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Alive.
So much puke
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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