You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
