Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
