i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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