some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
