apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
