can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
