Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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