why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
