hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
