Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
