dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
