I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
