how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize