If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
