if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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