hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
