she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
