hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
