Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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