well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
