We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
