U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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