I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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