garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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