k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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