3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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