dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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