I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
