I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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