this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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