Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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