Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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