do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
