If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
