Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
