If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
