the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
