I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
God, I missed his penis.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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