YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize