I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
