We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize