Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
