i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
