mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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