So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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