oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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