Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
